bebivens89's Notizen, 16 Jul 10

Numerical Stereotypes: Is a 189 Pound Woman Fat? From K8yks blog I believe you and she have the correct perspective. My current weight is 189 pounds. Some people reading this probably think I’m still pretty fat. There’s a huge misconception out there that any woman who weighs more than 120 pounds is a big fat fattie. I’m no waif. But I’m not fat either. I’m healthy. Would you consider Marylin Monroe fat? I look thinner than she looks in a lot of her pictures. My measurements are 41, 31, 39. I’m 5’8″ tall. I wear size 12 jeans. I guess if your definition of fat is anyone bigger than Kate Moss, yeah, I’m a monster! But really, I’m not fat. I’m mostly muscle and boobs. I can see my ribcage and my abdominal muscles if I stretch. I used to have to shop at the plus size store when I wore a size 22/24 jeans at my heaviest. I could never understand why there wasn’t more available in terms of clothing for larger ladies. I mean, there are enough of us them around, right? Everywhere I go lately everyone seems huge. Fat women have money. I was ready to spend mine! Fat women have careers. I needed to dress nicely for mine! But where were the clothes? Just because you’re big, doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die. Even when I decided to lose the weight, I still had to shop at the Plus Size store until I lost a significant amount. So could the punishment end? Isn’t being obese punishment enough in itself? So I was happy to see this headline in the New York Times today. Plus-Size Revelation: Big Women Have Cash, Too Size 14 and UP I was happily reading this article and it was saying all these things I’ve thought myself many times. Big women have cash too. It makes business sense for more stores to carry plus size since so many women are plus size. Plus size women are desperate to buy more attractive clothes and are a practically untapped market. Then I got to this paragraph and my enjoyment swiftly ended: That is not always so easy for retailers venturing into the world of larger shoppers. Some bigger women do not like to try on clothes in the same fitting rooms as smaller women. Plus-size stocks take up valuable storage space, and not everyone is big in the same way, meaning stores cannot count on, say, a size 16 dress fitting most 180-pound women — one might have a larger torso, another big thighs and another wider hips. Wait, wait, WHAT? Bigger women don’t want to use the same dressing rooms as smaller ones?? WHAT? I have never heard such an absurd thing. I’ve never known anyone who felt that way. And don’t the great majority of dressing rooms have stalls these days? So who cares? But the second part is what really bothers me. I weigh MORE than 180 pounds and I am not Plus Size!!! I wear a size 12 as I mentioned previously. I WAS Plus Size for a long time and I resent the assumption that a 180 pound woman is a size 16. I haven’t been a size 16 since I was 230 pounds. I really can’t stand the numerical misconceptions people have. When I tell them my weight and they say “NO, You can’t possibly weigh that much!” how am I supposed to take that? I know they think they are complimenting me, but I DO weigh that much and it was comments like that that made me hate my body in the first place. When I was 16, I was in love with Axl Rose. I realize I am dating myself here. And I loved Metal Edge Magazine. I remember a devastating day when I was reading an interview with him and the question was, what kind of woman do you like? His answer was something along the lines of “I will date all kinds of girls! I mean, unless she’s a fat cow like over 150 pounds.” I weighed 190-something. I was crushed. Another reminder that I was a fat cow unworthy of anyone’s love. If I did weigh 150 pounds, at my height and my frame, I would be underweight. I would have to lose a lot of healthy muscle and get a breast reduction to get there. Numerical prejudice. I have to admit, I stopped reading the NYTimes article after that. Not worth my time. You can’t tell how much a person weighs by looking at her. There are so many variables. Height, frame, muscle, torso length. I resent the notion that this is only an issue for plus sized women. Are you kidding me? I have a harder time finding clothes to fit my healthy hourglass figure than I did when I was fat! Nobody makes shirts for a woman with a 31 inch waist and 34-DDDs. So that’s just a bullshit argument. Sell the big women some damned attractive clothes, and do it without insulting them or treating them as if they aren’t human and aren’t all individuals just like everyone else. (I wasn’t going to blog here today, but that just got my blood boiling.)  

I liked that Calculator. To lose 1 pound I need to do what I have been doing, under 1,500 per day and to lose 2 pounds per week I need to keep it 1,200 which is very challenging for me and I am so proud of you because you are disciplined and in control.  

Brava, K8yk! It's all those stereotypes and preconceived notions about numbers that have caused us (all American women, regardless of size, weight, shape, whatever) to doubt ourselves and sometimes even hate ourselves! Frankly, the older I get, the more I accept myself and stop competing with some ephemeral image someone else may have of what I should be. I've heard this is common once you cross over the 50 mark. My focus is on feeling healthy and energetic, keeping my brain functioning, loving and taking care of the people who are important to me, and growing my soul. These are the things I believe will keep me alive long enough to be a burden to my children, not exercise and constant self-denial. Let's all not forget Jim Fixx! 

wow, according to that site, I need to be eating 1900 calories to lose 2 pounds per week. I'm not sure if I can do that though. When I eat healthy I am lucky to get to 1500 without feeling too full. However this is the first site that has my goal weight as a healthy weight! 

Look at you, 172!!! Yippee! TOWANDA!