Procrastinated enough. Getting down to journaling...so much to say, but I'll try to be brief (no promises, tho'! :))
Forewarning: Journal is super-long today--feel free to skip. I need to say all this for my own record-keeping. "I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead" ~ Mark Twain. :)
Monday, the 11th Recall, I had only 4 hours of sleep, and yet a lot of crummy work to still take care of. I kept plugging away, and then around 5 or 6 pm, when I still wasn't close to being done, hadn't had the chance to take an afternoon nap, and hadn't worked out yet--and couldn't feel the strength to work out well, and then for some reason, an idea popped in my head: PIZZA!
I decided I want to break. Order pizza, watch a segment of a movie that I had not been able to finish last week, and just hang out. So, that's what I did. Low on the water count, high dose of bad carbs and fats, and keeping workout on the AWOL-list!
And to think, ironically, earlier in the day I threw out a challenge to BadAndee and Mbhpro to pick up our week 2 challenge and add a mini goal of intensifying the workout!! Ah well. At this rate of being a workout lightweight, BA will kick my ass with zero effort!
I did try to do better earlier in the day. And here's the proof: Meals: Cereal (3) Almonds (1.5) Salad with veggie patty (2), ff feta (0.5), and sesame ginger dressing (1) 2 cups Coffee with reduced fat cream and soy milk (1) 1 smores luna bar (3)
Mindfully-decided-on-bad-choice:
Evening: 3/4 of a large pizza (gradually eaten over the period of the evening from 5 pm to midnight!).
Analysis of whys and wherefores: Perhaps because I was a little despondent from my steadily rising weight last week. Or perhaps because I was functioning on less sleep and poor judgment. Or perhaps the stress got to me. Whatever the case--the bottomline is, I was being self-indulgent. And I have to stop that. Well, can't say I didn't ENJOY the pizza, though.
Coulda, shoulda, woulda--bygones.
Tuesday, the 12th Weight: 162.8 (duh!)
Today was a reminder, a revelation, and a lesson learned--quickly! More about that in a sec.
I was woken up by a random text from my gym-buddy at 6.30 am asking me to go work out! She'd disappeared for weeks, and then just resurfaces just like that--at 6.30 am, no less!! I could have chosen to use that as a blessing and an incentive and go work out. But I just didn't feel like rising myself up that early. Finally, I did get up at 8.30 am, but only coz I had a haircut appt. at 9.30! So, of course, that left me no time for a breakfast. I just grabbed a bottle of water from home and a Luna bar, a coffee from a cafe, and went for my 3-hr long hair,spa, makeup session...it was good, but long, and as a result, I barely had time to get home, grab lunch, and head out to work for a reception (where I had to put in good QT-networking-facetime!). Thus, at home, I didn't have time to make anything, so I had the last of the two slices of the leftover pizza, and had one more bottle of water (only 1 liter so far, and it was 3 pm already!). So, now I'm still carbed-up, feeling bloated, and nowhere close to damage-control as I haven't upped the water intake, nor lowered the carb-intake.
Now work--that was the whole "revelation" I talked about above. I went to a work-related thing after an almost 2.5 month long summer hiatus...and I have to say, in just half a day, all good habits of the last few months disappeared and all bad habits of the last few YEARS came rushing back. (I'm gonna call this the "Chucky-syndrome, after my comment on Massiverally's journal today).
Old habits: While busy networking, I "forgot" to eat anything or drink water. I was surrounded by lovely appetizers and dessets, and saw the others scarfing down all sorts of things. I finally took a break and sampled 3 breaded artichoke hearts, and 2 pastry-shell wrapped mushroom-thing-ies...had 1 pc. of a little chocolate. So, again, carbs and more carbs. Those 6 little morsels would equate to a complete dinner's worth of points, I'm sure. And yet, to think, if I'd sampled ALL of the hors d'oeuvres, imagine how many points that would have been??!! And yet, that's what everyone else was doing around me....
After that, I had to run and get a couple of errands done on campus before the offices closed down, then ran into a colleague and we brainstormed a really cool research idea, so I had to rush back to my office and hammer out a small project proposal and email it right away while things were still fresh in my mind. Through all this, I was a)thirsty, b)getting hungry, and c) needed to go pee...and yet, like the bad old days, I kept going with the work and ignored the silent pleadings of my body. Bad, Bad, me. This is how I got into the bad habits in the first place. I CANNOT re-start this crazy way of working all over again. Lesson learned.
I'll have to be crazy-anal about my healthy needs and have them trump over everything else: teaching, networking, research, student demands, appointments, meetings, etc. I'll have to live by the clock, and set times and follow those times for regular meals, water, and bathroom breaks. Everything else will just have to wait and work itself around that.
A final redemption on the day was when I chose to not stop for a subway sandwitch on the way home, even though it was close to 7.30 pm by now, and instead just wait to get home and whip up soemthing healthy. And I did do that. Made a big salad, and an egg white/veggie omelette. Drank about a liter of water already.
Oh, no workout yet. And it's already past 10 pm. I'll have to do some weights, lunges etc. and suffice it for the day.
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