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Yesterday I was having one of those dark moments where I just felt depressed and alone and just wanted to cover it with something like tv or the computor, or food. Instead of indulging it I sat and just thought about what my feelings really were, what was causing that emptieness inside me. I was able to pinpoint the lonelieness I was feeling and working that out, and pushed in positive thoughts, and said a prayer to God to get myself through that moment. I felt so connected and powerful in those moments. I felt like I reached a positive breakthrough in my life. It makes me start to wonder how often I try to burry these feelings, and how much positive potential there is in really confronting these feelings with a positive persepective. In order to truelly understand ourselves we need to see the dark, understand our past and get through it. I think that there are many times I cover these feelings so I don't have to really face the truth. How often do I really just sit quietly and reflect? I haven't felt so close to God, and the world around me as I did then in a very long time. My new goal is to accept these moments, to use them as a quick vission into the darker parts of myself, and to learn to really understand who I am. I am going to start putting in time in my day where I will just have quiet, no tv, no music, no computor, no food. Just to be with myself.
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