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Feeling bloated after last night's binge. I ate a bunch of bread with nutella, a lot of wheat thins with salsa, and an entire can of pringles. Yes, the bread was "light", the wheat thins were "reduced fat" and the pringles were "fat free", so not as terrible calorie-wise as it could have been.
But my whole issue is with that out-of-control feeling that I get when I'm overeating knowingly. If I had a stomachache after a delicious meal because it had a lot of fat and/or dairy in it, that's one thing. But this stomachache is entirely my fault, as will this week's tiny loss or possible gain.
I just hope that there is enough time to "make up" for yesterday's mistakes. I will not be killing myself, however; I will simply stick to the already in place meal and exercise plan. I may make healthier substitutions or add 10 minutes to the gazelle every day, but that will be the extent of it.
I don't want to go back to the binge/purge ways of my eating disorder days (years ago). It was almost tempting to, last night, to "undo" the binge. But I just dealt with the stomache-ache and went to bed high on pepto bismol instead. For that, I am very proud of myself.
I had a therapist who once told me that once an anorexic/bulimic, always an anorexic/bulimic. She didn't mean that I'd starve myself or binge/purge forever, just that the food addiction would probably remain, years after "recovered". I didn't want to believe that at the time. But now, nearly 5 years after "recovery", I'm forced to admit it. I still think like someone with an eating disorder. Sucks.
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1432 kcal
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Fett: 22,40g | Eiw: 74,29g | Kohlh: 249,54g.
Frühstück: banana, Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Fudge. Mittagessen: oscar meyer chicken strips, cucumber, shredded carrots, romaine lettuce, tomato. Abendessen: kraft free dressing, cucumber, popcorn, lean cuisine pizza, romaine lettuce, tomato. Snacks/Sonstiges: mixed vegetables, apple. mehr...
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3418 kcal
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Bewegung:
Zirkeltraining - 30 Minuten, Ruhen - 7 Stunden und 30 Minuten, Schlafen - 7 Stunden und 30 Minuten, Heimtrainer (Mäßig) - 1 Stunde, Schreibtischarbeit - 7 Stunden und 30 Minuten. mehr...
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 Kommentare
I think the attitude of not going crazy to make up for yesterday is a sound one. Perhaps finding why it is you are binge eating is key? You can not change the past but you can prepare for the future. I was bulimic for years and can understand how the disorder is still there even after I have not made myself sick for a very long time. When I finally stopped telling myself I "could not" or "should not" eat certain things it helped me stop binging. Once I stopped telling myself "it was just this once" or that "Tomorrow I will start over so it is ok now because I will never do this again" things changed in a big way. I am not sure what your "why" is, but finding it may be helpful. :) {{{hugs}}}
24 Mrz 10 vom Mitglied: dawn0001
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I just wanted to say that I commend you for sharing, that itself shows that you are able to acknowledge and own what your doing, I agree with dawn001 on your "why". I too believe that if you acknowledge that and try to resolve or come to terms with it on some level, this will really help you in the long run. She sounds like she has experience and understanding and may be a great one on one buddy for you to chat to! I also want to give you a squeeze!! You can do this, your already doing great!! Keep moving forward, and chin up!!
24 Mrz 10 vom Mitglied: Jenn74
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Well the food "addiction" *may* remain, and I'm no expert on anorexia or bulemia, but I believe that that therapist was taking "liberties" when she said that. How does she know? The terms haven't even been around long enough for anyone to say "always." You are fine but definitely stay away from the purging aspects. It takes quite a while to get yourself used to a program that "fits" you. Mold it, twist it, turn it... until it feels just right for *you.* Keep up the good work GG! :-)
24 Mrz 10 vom Mitglied: information
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Very brave journal entry... i commend you for it! I have to be very strict with myself because the moment i give in to one treat i end up binge eating and the results afterward are never pretty.
High five for not "undoing" the binge.. dealing with that feeling must have been difficult but you overcame it and should be proud of yourself!
25 Mrz 10 vom Mitglied: KarinaC
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