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It's my birthday! My boyfriend is taking me to a cool spot in a hip LA neighborhood and has invited most of my friends. The restaurant plays cool music into the night and on Wednesdays has half off margaritas and $10 pitchers!! Honestly, to think I will do well with my calorie count is a ridiculous thought lol. Those margaritas are 300-800 calories. Maybe shots of tequila will be better! Or I'll just have vodka tonics.
I decided to record a journal entry today to put it down on paper that last night out of all nights I saw that I NEED to lose weight!! Not WANT but NEED. I was shopping last night for outfits for the many bday festivities I have this week and I was DEPRESSED. I didn't feel good in anything even BEFORE I tried it on. I just thought about how my arms would look in that top or my love handles would look in those pants etc. Even at my thinnest and healthiest high school weight I had garments I couldn't wear because I'm Latina and had lots of hips with a teeny waist and double d's. Even as a gained weight I still had a plethora of items to choose from and didn't feel too restricted. Well now at my highest weight ever, 25 lbs more than I weighed just a summer ago, that all changed. Let me tell you Wet Seal has the WORST mirrors ever!! I didn't look as bad at the other stores. Besides wanting to look and feel good in the clothes I wear I felt the NEED to change. That mirror magnified the 20 lbs of extra fat on my mid-section that not only doesn't look good but is the biggest indicator of bad health on a woman. There is no way I can let myself go any further and I need to reverse everything I've done to my body.
Anyway, I needed to write that long journal entry so that I can remember how crappy I felt yesterday and I can turn that feeling into action. I hope to look back at this in a few months and smile.
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