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06 November 2018
I am absolutely mortified by the amount of binge eating i have done over the last 2 weeks. To say that I am dreading getting on the scale is a massive understatement. I canceled my appointment with my med mgt today because I couldn't deal with leaving the house and having him see how much weight i put on since my appointment last month. This time I know it isn't in my head since my husband can see it (although being a sweetheart he understates how bad it is) and because i can feel the extra chins have returned to my neck when i lay down to sleep which is a dead giveaway for me.
I have tried evert day this past week not to shovel anything edible into my mouth but haven't been successful. I will try again and hope that today's the day i can stop.
I know my depression is key in this but this feels like a self fulfilling prophecy because it makes me feel hideous, and that the damage is done, which makes me feel worse so i want to eat more which makes it worse. And the awful thing is that unlike when i usually binge eat now i am freakishly hungry. I eat until i can't and im still hungry afterwards. I feel like an absolute loser with no will power and jyst am a giant fuck up.
There.i said it.
Harsh byt undoubtedly true. I tried so hard to lose the weight and I've piled it back on just like that.
(2 Kommentare)
26 Oktober 2018
I'm in the middle of a major depressive episode. And I'm chronically depressed. And despite taking my anti-binge eating meds I've been bingeing. BAdly. I'
m trying really hard to not binge (and it's easier since there isn't a lot left in the house that I would eat LMAO).
I put off weighing myself until today but did it anyway.
I've somehow gone from 193 to 191.
Which feels bizarre because I would swear that I am fatter and bloated. even my neck feels fatter. I genuinely expected to weigh in with about 10 pounds more on me. What is wrong with my eyes/brain that I can't see me as otehr people eyes see me? I, ah, don't know how to fix my brain to tell / see when my body is losing weight.
Anyway. I have managed not to kill myself this week (it's been on my mind almost constantly)but my husband is being supportive, and of course, I know he could handle it, but I don't think he would be able to take care of our cats properly, and I don't know if my best friend would be able to take them for him....and she's the only person in the world I could and would trust with caring for them even though they are all needy, problematic but love babies.
Gewicht:
Bisher verloren:
Still to go:
Diät befolgt:
86,6 kg
21,3 kg
23,1 kg
Schlecht
(2 Kommentare)
Verlust von 0,4 kg pro Woche
08 Oktober 2018
The last month has been filled with stress so i have been eating more than usual but also not getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I was afraid to weigh myself because i feel fatter than ever and really bloated (probably the bloat is from my breaking down and gorging on cheese / dairy and being lactose intolerant).
Glad to report that todayI weighed myself and im steady at 193. Still have a way to go to hit the 180's.
Gewicht:
Bisher verloren:
Still to go:
Diät befolgt:
87,5 kg
20,4 kg
24,0 kg
Schlecht
Kommentar hinzufügen
konstantes Gewicht
14 September 2018
Stress has been having me keep all kinds of weird hours. Its affected my eating and I think thats the reason why I dropped 4 pounds in a week. I suspect I am slightly dehydrated so that the next time I weigh in I will probably b heavier.
Gewicht:
Bisher verloren:
Still to go:
Diät befolgt:
87,5 kg
20,4 kg
24,0 kg
Recht gut
Kommentar hinzufügen
Verlust von 2,1 kg pro Woche
08 September 2018
The last week or so I jave been under a great deal of stress. super stress. so much so that my vyvnse (which helps me to stop binge eating) was completely useless. I ate and ate and ate and felt super bloated and huge. I was pretty sure that I had gained back at least 5 pounds. Today when I weighed myself I weighed in at 197. What??? How the hell is that even possible?
Gewicht:
Bisher verloren:
Still to go:
Diät befolgt:
89,4 kg
18,6 kg
25,9 kg
Schlecht
Kommentar hinzufügen
Verlust von 0,2 kg pro Woche
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