AuntieJan's Notizen

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16 September 2011

It's nine o'clock and I am in bed. Had to work repairing a ceiling and installing baseboards today when I should have been off my feet. Oh well! I am excited about tomorrow and ill be up early, light breakfast and ill be on my way to my first 5k! Thanks everyone for all the kind comments last night, it was a tough day made a bit easier. ONWARD!

(6 Kommentare)

15 September 2011

Today was one of those days that was a roller coaster ride for me. I have been doing so well for so long and I have been extremely proud of myself, fighting the good fight and not giving up. As someone who knows the extreme depths of deep depression, I know what it looks like when that nasty monster is trying to get one up on me again. Thank God it doesn't happen often anymore.

I have been having some odd feelings the last few days and my sister's behavior hasn't helped me to feel a lot better. She is one of the most depressing people you could ever be around and I am stuck living with her. Some days all of my energy is completely devoted to countering that wall of doom and gloom with all the things I have learned in session and in dealing with my sister for 50+ years. She is not a nice person a lot of the time and she has always been jealous of me for various reasons, none of them make much sense to me.

Over the last few weeks my spirit has been soaring and my creative being charged up, running well and ready for anything, to create beauty or simply to just explore the artist I am meant to be. Along with that I have been working hard in the gym to get myself healthier and training to the best of my ability to run this 5k on Saturday. All of this positive effort on my part has not gone unnoticed by my family, both by blood and by grace, and the family at Nomad is included in that.

Judging from my sister's nasty remarks, threats and other spiteful things said and done to me today and for the last few days, I am wondering if she is angry or jealous because I am recieving so much support and positive attention. Maybe not. She is just like that sometimes.

I actually sat and cried tonight because the sadness just overwhelmed me so, this is something I haven't done for a really long time. I also realized that the bad little mind games of the past had started to creep in, causing me to question myself and chirping in my ear that I am not worthy of love, or praise, or hope. YOU ARE NOBODY it tells me, making me feel even worse. But enough about my personal pity party.

I decided to leave the house.

In years past this would have automatically meant that I would have headed straight for a bar or something similar.

Not tonight.

I got up, washed off my face, put my shoes back on, picked up my keys and left.

I drove to Nomad. I didn't go in, but I sat in the parking lot with the windows rolled down, listening to our awesome band rehearse, drawing in the positive, creative energy radiating from that building and saying a few earnest prayers as well. When they were finished with rehearsal I rolled the windows up and I came home. And now I am writing this.

The demons didn't get me this time. And if I have anything to do with it, they never will. The black hole of depression shall not suck me back into it and although at times I have fears, and doubts, each small victory like tonight's will reaffirm to myself of just how far I have come.

I will, to the best of my ability, kick tomorrow's ass.

Goodnight, and peace.

(13 Kommentare)

14 September 2011

Lights, Camera, Action!

As promised here are a few snaps of the stage dressings I created for the new series at Nomad called Journey High. It is a lot of fun and it also will serve as a partial portfolio today, I am meeting a gentleman there this afternoon to discuss doing book illustrations for him. Exciting day ahead!

Anyway, here are some snaps from this past Sunday.
Getting the lighting set up.

A closer view of the "Mascot" and Grafitti panels.

The "Glee Club" in action.

My nephew in his "Principal" suit giving the day's lesson.

On other news items from the life and times of Auntie Jan, I did my causeway walk/run yesterday and the tingling/numbness came back but not as bad. Still, I think this probably how I will have to do the 5k on Saturday, a combo of walking and running. We will see how it feels on Saturday morning. I will just simply do my best!

My thought for the day:
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."
~William James

Peace to all and big butterfly hugs!

(12 Kommentare)

12 September 2011

RELIEF!

I will never, ever forget the power of a really good massage therapist and a deep tissue massage. What a big difference it has made in my leg(s) and foot today! It is still a bit numb and tingly, but vastly improved and I feel confident I can do that 5k now without fear of really messing something up. She spent well over an hour on me today and half of it was my legs, she did both and boy what a difference, not to mention the improvement in my shoulders and arms that I have been working pretty hard as well.

This was preceded by a quick session done by my fellow Nomad after lunch yesterday. It so happened that her office is right next door to the place where we ate and she wouldn't take any money for it.

So now I have two great LMTs to help me and I plan to be a regular client from now on. I forgot how much a good professional massage can do for an aching body. Anyone that has not had a true professional massage needs to find a good one and GO!!! One of the best things you can do for yourself if you have pain, chronic or acute.

On other fronts my beloved Dolphins lost their opening game tonight but I saw some really good stuff from the new guys and I am liking the changes I'm seeing in the overall stategy of the team. They played a really tough team tonight in the Patriots, Brady is one of the best there is and the Dolphins were lucky to have such a small gap in the ending score. It's a long season and I will cheer them on the whole way!

Tomorrow morning I am doing the causeway run, albeit slowly and carefully. I did 30 mins on the treadmill and another 40 on weights today, I took it slowly and I did OK. I will be ready for Saturday.

So I'm late getting to bed here but wanted to get a quick entry in, tomorrow is another day said Scarlet. :-)

PEACE.

p.s. I do have pics of the props I painted, will post asap!

(16 Kommentare)

11 September 2011

My heart and prayers go out to all of the people that lost loved ones ten years ago today, to the first responders everywhere that bravely rush into situations where most would flee, and most of all to the 2,977 people that lost their lives that day.

This was something I created ten years ago to help me deal with it all. I hope you get something other than sadness from it.

God, bless America. And bless all of the countries that stand shoulder to shoulder with us today as we pay our respects.

PEACE.

(10 Kommentare)

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